i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
