it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
