Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
