I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
