dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
