I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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