he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
