Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
