i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
