I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
please don't ironically join a cult
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