Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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