can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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