omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize