I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
