I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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