For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
