I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
sex in a hospital.. check
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
