5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize