on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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