Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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