Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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