My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
