My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm always down for nudity.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
