why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
