She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
