on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize