He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
