then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
