He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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