Your face is a jimmy john
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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