dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
