I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize