Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
