fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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