If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
