They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
