she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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