We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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