im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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