Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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