kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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