We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Define "chronic" masturbator.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
