Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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