im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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