also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Watching her eat just hurts me
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
