i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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