I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
