So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
