The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
