There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
