idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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