Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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