Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
