I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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