he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
