They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize