The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
