I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
