her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize