He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
