i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sorry about my life...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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