GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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