So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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