i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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