I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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