he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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