honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
