Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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