I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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