Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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