"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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